Life Is Fluid, But So Are We
by Erin or Lindsay
Summary: Aftermath of 3x01. Jay's hurt and Erin wants to check on him. ONESHOT


"Detective, I'm going to need you too sit back on the stretcher and let us get to Chicago Med."

"Brett, I told you. I am fine just a little banged up, but it's nothing that a couple pain relievers and some sleep won't fix." Jay knew that he should just let Sylvie check him out, make sure he doesn't have internal bleeding, but he just wants to go home.

"And I'm telling you, you could be seriously injured. You were just kidnapped, beaten, and you're probably dehydrated. Just let me bring you in, and check you over."

"How about this. You can check me over here and then I'll call my brother. He's an ER doctor at Chi Med. He's already staying with me so he can make sure that I'm okay." Brett reluctantly agreed.

After bandaging up the gashes on his forehead and chest, and after wrapping his probably broken ribs, she let him go. He stood in the street, trying to take in what had happened. His cover was blown, and when they said to send in a female officer he expected Burgess. But the sound of his partner's voice and the feel of her hands on his skin made him think that he was hallucinating. She told him that they were no longer partners, he saw the shine in her eyes disappear, he saw how her dimples weren't as impressive. But she showed up. And as soon as the unit got him out, them out, safely Voight put her in the car and took off.

He's ripped from his thought's when a hand grabs his shoulder, making him flinch at the memories. But he's safe, and it's just Ruzek.

"Man, am I glad to see you. Listen, O, Atwater and Dawson are gonna be stuck here for a while. How about I take you home?"

"Yeah, Adam. That'd be great."

"Goddamn it Jay. You should be at a hospital. You know, where there is equipment to treat you."

"Will, calm down. It's just bruises." He winces as Will pushes against a couple ribs. "Alright maybe a broken rib. But I'll take it easy. And you can check on me."

"I can't Jay. I told you I picked up a double today and I won't be home until sometime tomorrow." Will hesitated when he thought of telling his brother to ask Erin, but thought better of it. "Can't you come to the hospital with me?"

"No, you know how much I hate hospitals ever since Mom. Listen, I promise you that I will only get up from the couch to go to the bathroom and the kitchen."

"Fine. But if anything, and I mean anything, happens or feels wrong."

"Yeah, I'll call you." The brothers stared at one another. "I promise. Now go before you're late."

After basically forcing his brother out the door, Jay grabbed a water and a leftover sub and settled in on the couch.

He doesn't know how long he dozed off for, but when he wakes up it's dark outside and someone is knocking on his door. In the few minutes that it takes him to get up from the couch the knocking stopped only to be replaced with boots pacing his hall. Eventually he gets to the door, taking a second to catch his breath, then swinging the door open to see who woke him up.

"Erin?"

"Oh my god. Jay I'm sorry I shouldn't have come over. You were probably sleeping."

"No it's okay, but come in." She gave him a wary look. "I can't stand for too long, I promised Will I wouldn't overexert myself while I'm alone."

"You should be in a hospital, not home alone." Jay shut the door behind her. She heard him scoff. "I'm serious Jay. Have you even looked in a mirror lately?"

"The medic on scene checked me out."

"Yeah, five hours ago. You didn't look too bad then, but now. God Jay."

"Erin, honestly I'm fine. Will checked me out too. He just told me not to move too much. Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

"I wanted to check on you." Her eyes dropped to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with him.

"Well I'm fine. So you can go home."

"Jay. I wanted to apologize." He looked confused. "If I never left then I would have been there to have your back."

"And you could have gotten hurt too. And honestly, I'm glad you weren't there. If you were, I would have let them beat me for however long they wanted to if it meant keeping you safe."

"Jay just let me finish. Get it all out there, okay?" She took his nod as an indication to continue. "Let me start at the beginning. I never wanted us to cool it, and I should have fought Voight for us. I'm sorry for pushing you away after Nadia. I needed help and you were hurting too, you just wanted to comfort me but I was too stubborn. I'm sorry for checking out on the unit and not telling you, not talking to you at all. But I needed to hit the bottom and realize that I needed the unit, I needed you."

"So why come back?"

"I heard about you getting kidnapped. I took it as though I should have been there for you. So I went to Voight. He wouldn't let me at first because I wasn't a cop anymore. But we both know that he never filed my paperwork and that I have no vacation time now. I begged him to let me go. I told him that I was your partner, no matter what. Because I'll always have your back."

"That's it? You heard about me and thought it was still your job to help?"

"I'm back for good now, Jay. See you like that today, I don't know it just hit me hard. Hearing that your cover got blown and no one could get to you, I was scared. And I never thought of the possibility of losing you, but just thinking about it. That was the most scared that I've been in a while." He tapped her hand, grabbing her attention.

"I'm right here. I'm okay." She nodded at his words of reassurance.

"So you saw me leave the scene with Hank. We went back to the office and we talked. He told me I could have my badge, my spot in Intelligence, back if I wanted to. But I needed to stay clean. And I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told him: I am never going back to that life, or Bunny. Any of it." She saw that he wasn't looking at her anymore, he was focused on a spot on the wall.

"Hank also told me about you. That you could use me back as a partner." That Caught his attention real quick. He was about to defend himself. "He said you've been reckless. Going through houses barely clearing the rooms, not waiting for any backup. Playing lone ranger. Jay, he told me that you don't have anyone who would care if something happened to you." She took his hand in both of hers, holding it tight. "How could you think that? How could you think that I wouldn't care if something happened to you?"

"Because you aren't here Erin! You left me alone and didn't say a word. What else am I supposed to think? That I was a good partner letting you leave? No, I know that I should have done more, I should have pushed you to coming back. I should have been there with you every night after Nadia. I should have been with you."

"Jay. Listen to me. There is nothing more that you could have done. I was spiralling out of control and not even Voight could stop me. Don't you dare think that this is your fault." He still wouldn't look at her. She moved one of her hands to cup his cheek, making him look at her. "You are the greatest partner that I have ever had. You are one of the greatest men that I know. That's why I'm getting clean. For you. So I can come back to you. And I know that I should have been with you every night after Nadia, but I wasn't. But I will be now, if you'll let me. I'll be here to help you."

"I don't need help Erin."

"I slept next to you every night for two months, Jay. I know about the nightmares. And I know that this whole thing will probably bring back some memories for you. So just let me be here for you, because I wouldn't let you be there for me."

"Okay." He nodded and took a breath as deep as his ribs would let him. He winced a little, hoping that she wouldn't notice. She leaned against the back of the couch, pulling him sideways by his hand to rest. He put his head on her lap, closing his eyes when he felt her run her fingers through his hair. Her thumb grazed the bandage that covered a majority of his forehead, softly touching his black eye.

"Jay, you should go to bed, you've had a long couple days." His eyes opened and he grabbed her hand. "I can stay out here until Will comes home, just yell if you need anything."

Erinhelped him get up and started towards the bedroom. By the time they got to the doorway, he was winded and needed to lean against it, reminding him of them in the exact same spot months earlier. He pulled on her hand to bring her closer to him, using his other hand he tilted her head up towards his. His lips were soft on hers, barely there. It was gentle, unlike the one they shared against that same doorway. She pulled away, leaning up to kiss his neck, the spot under his jaw that always drove him crazy.

"Er-"

"When we cooled it, you said that it was enough for now." Her head rested against the crook in his neck, hot breath tickling his skin and making his hairs stand on edge. "Well now, I think we deserve more than just enough." She tiptoed up to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth.

She got him to the bed, pulled the comforter and sheet back enough for him to get in. She pulled them up to his abdomen. Erin sighed when she looked at his face, covered in bruises and bandages. She brushed the hairs that had fallen onto his forehead back, he must not have combed it after he showered. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the spot her hand just was.

"Goodnight, Jay." She wasn't even sure that her words were loud enough for him to hear, but he reached for her arm as she stood.

"Stay in here." She nodded, brushing his hand off as she walked around the room as if it were her own. Grabbing a shirt to swap out for her own and a clean pair of boxers to wear instead of her jeans. Eventually she walked to the other side of the bed, the side that used to be hers. The whole time, he was watching her. He saw how she went through the different draws like she had been doing it for years, and he felt a smile creep on his face.

"Hey," he turned his head to look at her on the pillows next to him. "What's with the smile?"

"You, in here." He shrugged, as much as it hurt. "You're so comfortable here." She pulled him towards her, letting him rest his head against her chest. She brushed a kiss against his temple.

"Because I'm comfortable with you." She smiled into his hair before sleep took them both.


End file.
